All the Small Steps

March 20. 1:29am. Today is just a normal day, with me going about my normal business. Work. Sleep. Work again. In this moment I’m running the night audit here at the hotel, so I have absolutely nothing better to do than think while I wait. In the mix of all my random thoughts, I get stuck on one in particular….. I’ve come such a long way since this time last year.

            It was then I had not touched my guitar in about five or six months. One sentence changed my life so drastically that I laid down my gift as if it was never meant to be. I was in this place where it seemed like I had nothing to live for. Music came so naturally, there was nothing else I thought about being, nothing else I’d rather do.  I saw the vision for my life and was running hard after it until then. I was so hard on myself. Believing that I sucked at everything to do with music; I couldn’t sing, I couldn’t play guitar, I just sucked at it all so why bother.

            Man. I look back and I can see it. I see the hurt and the pain. It’s heartbreaking to bring back to mind what I felt then when I see where I’m at now. I wish I could speak life into myself then, from the future of today that I am strong, fearless and aint nothin’ gonna stop me from reaching my dream. I recall something urged me to begin playing again around May-ish and I slowly wrote some music in the summer. Then In November at the Taylor Swift concert is when I was truly awoken to my dream again. (You can read about that in one of my earlier blogs.) It’s been said that “Every seed dies before it grows” and that is exactly what took place.

            Here I am. A YEAR later and I’m wrapped up in so much music its crazy! Two weeks ago I got my new guitar! I have been waiting forever for it! And I am in love. Last week I played in a bar at my first Open Mic and was asked to come back! Haha. It was amazing. I sang two of my own original songs, straight from the heart. I’m destined to play in front of the secular crowd! There is this energy, this rush I feel that is different from when I play in a church setting. There is something about it that I am so drawn too. Where I’ve always felt like I would be in the “world” singing; it’s true.  I LOVED every second of playing in that bar, I could’ve sung all night. I had the best time, and I can’t wait for more opportunities to open for me in that way.

            I am currently still leading worship at an all women’s home group every week. Love doing that and I love interacting with the ladies. I have grown so much since I started that in November.
           

            I am writing so much! Every time I turn around a new chorus just flows out. I keep trying to finish one song, get distracted in the middle of that and out comes a new catchy song! It’s crazy! Ha. I love every step of the process. If it comes to mind, please pray that creativity just flows out. That I am able to finish all of my songs I have going on here; that the right melodies and lyrics and chords come out. Most importantly that Papa just shows up pouring out His heart in the whole song. That He speaks the deisres of His heart for His children into my spirit. (:

            My excitement is just building up! There is so much happening. I’ve come such a long way in one year. These doors may seem small… but they all lead to where I’m headed. All the small steps add up. I am so thankful and grateful for all of my friends and family who support me in every way possible. You make this adventure more fun and exciting. Thank you for all of your prayers and encouragement.  You are loved beyond measure!

Much Love xoxo,
Morgan Rayshell